Faithful in All Situations – How to Stay the Parenting Course

Tags

adrenal fatigue, breast cancer, cleaning, disney world, faith, homeschooling, jesus, parent, rollercoaster, school, stress

Whether you are a parent of a child in a public, private, or homeschool, I would like to share with you today what will be a short series on some tips on how to overcome doubt and adversity despite the worst year of your life.  This is not a guide to see life wearing rose-colored glasses.  Though my life is scattered with several hardships, today I am going to share how my worst teaching (and probably worst parenting) year ever has made me into the wiser and smarter parent I am today.  First, I will take you into my story.  The year? 2014.  I will share with you what happened as a whole and how it affected me.  On my next post, I will share with you how, following the dreadful school year of 2013-2014, that summer I read a book I had no idea would change my understanding of who I am, where I came from, and where I wanted to go.  The book was about Helen Keller (the blind and deaf girl) as told by her TEACHER.  In it, there were had so many epiphanies on how not just to help my kids….but me.  I am reading it for the second time now and am still blown away by how her teacher struggle is so relevant to all parents today.

Here’s the setup.  It was my second year homeschooling.  I was teaching 2nd grade to my seven-year-old daughter while also learning to manage a one-year-old toddler.  I think I recall our homeschool year began happily with our usual scavenger hunt to ring in the school year. But soon math was a nightmare.  My daughter fought with me or whined about some part of it nearly every day while my son would scream at the top of his lungs begging for someone to pay attention to him.   I quickly learned that my daughter considered subtraction as her enemy – and therefore, since I was making her do it anyway… I also became her enemy. I was losing my joy – fast.  One day I even videotaped our lessons to show my daughter her behavior… except… yikes!  I was so depressed to see the look of numbness on my face – I never showed her.  No excitement was in my eyes.  Worse yet… I had lost how to discuss math with love.  My tone was business only… yet I also felt bad for the reflection of me on the screen.  That lady looking back at me was SO TIRED.  She was out of options for getting such a smart little girl, completely capable of learning to stop being so stubborn!  She could not see that she was against herself.  I could see that inside her she could do it!  I had to turn the video off; it was too dreadful to watch us both suffering.  I then thought to myself… I was a straight-A student in math in school.  In my background, I had tutored math to the most troubled student to the smartest student.  Why was my daughter, who I loved more than life itself, so unbelievably HARD?

My house was a nightmare.  I could never get things clean after feeling so defeated in my lessons.  The mess negatively affected my husband, who was experiencing a new level of stress at work.  It was a snowball effect of disaster.  By Christmas, we decided we needed a vacation!  Actually, I wasn’t sure a vacation would help.  I was ready to throw in the towel and put my daughter in school.  I thought surely she could learn from someone – just not me.  But as I prayed, God kept showing me the word “faith.”  Everywhere I went I saw the word.  When my husband brought me home a new car, the Hyundai “Santa Fe,” which is “Holy Faith” in Spanish… I knew God was telling me not to give up.  His word to me that kept popping up over and over was “faith.”  It seemed clear that it was not just about school, but also to focus on having “faith” for the incoming 2014 New Year.  So casually, I thought…”Thanks God!”  I mean, who couldn’t use more faith?  And yet I also wondered why I needed more faith… because I am a person who tends to already look for the best of things.

But the funny thing is, I know that God both prepared me and must have had a sense of humor.   People!  2014 was like the year of Job for me!!!  God was SERIOUS. He didn’t cause what was to come.  I think He was telling me to have faith because that year would be like a series of hailstorms, hurricanes, and tornadoes all together!!!

We went to Disney World!  Yippee, right?  No.  Head on over to my blog post for how I survived and thrived after that trip.  When we came back, I was shaken, but not overcome.  But by March, things both for me at home and for hubby at work, became closer to hell, or so I thought.  I became scared about how tired I was.  My doctor increased my thyroid medication.  Didn’t work.  I then saw a new doctor who put me on Naturethroid.  I seemed to stabilize.

Well, turns out Naturethroid wasn’t weapon enough to combat my daughter’s attitude, nor my son not sleeping, nor the stress of my husband dealing with a nightmare employee.  By the end of March, my adrenals were shot.  I was scared.  By July, my doctor agreed that my adrenals needed help.  I detoxed my liver.  Seemed to be stabilized.

Seeing a pattern here?  Crash. Stable.  Crash.  Stable.  On some days I was able to cope with all the adversity.  On other days, I just wanted out.  To go somewhere on a mountain and scream.  But because I felt God had signaled me before the year started to have faith, I was able to hang on spiritually, though I was physically weakening fast.  I knew God heard me.  I also felt His presence despite arrow after arrow coming at us month after month.

But then it got WORSE.

On July 13, 2014, I found a lump in my breast.  I made another appointment back to the doctor the next day, who confirmed that she also felt a lump.  She seemed concerned and immediately scheduled me to have a Mammogram three days later to determine if the lump was malignant or benign.  Those were the longest three days of my life. I did not want to call my mom and worry her.  I felt like I couldn’t breathe.  I felt like the past year of fighting over math with my daughter was wasted time.  What if I died?  Who would teach her about the heart things of life?  What about the birds and the bees talk?  Who would be there for her?  Of course, I worried about my son too.  But I was more worried about the things a mother and daughter should do that we could be cut short on.  However, it seemed that every moment that I felt panicked, God would send someone to pray for me or something to encourage me.  I remember driving home from the doctor that day and just breaking down in sobs at a stop sign.  In between my sobs, I could hear a song on the radio come on in that instant with words as if from God to comfort me.  The next day, I took my daughter to a playdate at her friend’s house.  Her mom and I were also friends and was someone I could rely on to earnestly pray for me.  She heard my story and as we both got on our knees and prayed for our families, she also prayed for complete healing for me.

On the third day, July 16th, I finally went for my mammogram.  I was so terrified.  I left our kids home with my husband so my daughter would not worry about me and I would not have to explain to her why I was there.  All alone, I waited for my name to be called.  When it was my turn, an older nurse welcomed me with a caring voice.  She saw the fear in my eyes and got a warm blanket for me to put on my shoulders.  She asked me to locate the lump.  But when I looked for it, I could not even feel it.  I invited her to check.  She couldn’t feel it either!  I wasn’t phased that not feeling the lump meant anything at that moment.  I only thought it had moved or that I was too nervous to locate it correctly.  She left the room for a few minutes and consulted with doctors.  She sweetly smiled and told me that if I couldn’t find the lump and she couldn’t find the lump, then there was no use in putting me through the mammogram.  However, the doctors all agreed that an ultrasound would indeed locate any suspicious matter.  As I was on the ultrasound table, I slowly began to realize that the doctor wasn’t finding ANYTHING.  He said that there was NO lump whatsoever – anywhere.  But when he said everything looked NORMAL, I was in amazement!  Wow!  God had healed me! No lump!  Which meant no cancer!

Words cannot express my gratitude that the lump had disappeared.  I felt in that moment that this was the climax of my year that God had been preparing me to stay the course.  To keep the faith.  I could have easily fallen apart long before.  But He held me up even to the moment.  I also felt it was ironic that I had been spared such a potentially serious diagnosis.  In fact, that very day I found out my lump was gone, a friend I had known for several years, who was my exact same age and also had a child, was diagnosed with breast cancer and is still suffering as I write this.  So many people I know are struggling with cancer or have lost their battle.  I would wonder to God – Why Me?  Why was I spared?  I will never know but I am in some way thankful for those scary three days.  I got to wear the dreaded shoes to the oncologist area and to realize all the millions of terrifying thoughts that go through their minds.  Perhaps I live to be their voice?  But mostly, I think it is to testify that God still heals today and to share His power!  He’s powerful y’all! And He cares about YOU!

Some questions I still had.  After such a rollercoaster year of huge dips and short periods of normalcy… was my family in the position to remain a homeschooling family?  Honestly, I can tell you that I was NOT ready.  Yet all I continued to feel was God’s continual urge for me to continue to have faith.  (For real, God?)  My main focus for the rest of that summer was to rest in Him.  He was not releasing me from my calling to homeschool my daughter.  My health recovered, my lump was gone, and my husband’s job situation were all regenerated.  Whether I could reach my daughter in her math?  That was a matter I left for God.

I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty.  I have learned the secret of being content and in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. ~ Philippians 4:12

I also learned that year to that I will never assume that I know what God intends.  What I thought was going to be a happy go-lucky year of “Faith” really meant for me to be faithful in every situation. I feel God would say not just to me, but to all: “Seek Me, despite anything.  Follow Me and I will uphold you.”  He did just what He promised.

Are you experiencing a drought or storm in your life?  Here are five tips to help you along:

1. Rest.
2. Take it to Jesus.
3. Have Faith!
4. Be Thankful! Even in the darkest of times, a great idea is to find at least three things to be thankful for.  It only takes one good moment to change your circumstances.  Even if it is just a little thing… when we focus on being thankful, we align ourselves more with God’s goodness and are less likely to miss the times He carried us in the day.
5. Surround yourself with scripture.  During this year, I couldn’t always get to my Bible.  But I would be reminded through friends or in the oddest of places verses to encourage me.

Can I pray for you?  Please post in the comments how I can pray for you.  Do you have a story you’d like to share about how you survived an awful year?  I’d like to hear it in the comments too!

(to be continued)… stay tuned for tips I learned that year to regain our household and homeschool joy.

 

Prepare Him Room!

Tags

advent calendar, Christmas, jesus, john, listening, llight, ornament

Is it Christmas already?  I can’t believe my favorite time of year is here.  Last year, our first homeschooling Christmas, I learned not to over-plan my days and tried to make the most of our days.  This year, I am thankful that I actually am (somewhat) accomplishing this – so far.  Some of you may have noticed I have not posted for quite some time now.  Out of nowhere, actually, we encountered some educational hurdles.  Hurdles, which I am happy to report, are mostly working themselves out because of today’s freebie I am offering you a few days late – an Advent Calendar.

I don’t know about you, but somewhere between Thanksgiving and Christmas, sometimes I get so overwhelmed about my to-do list or the issues I see my family needing to overcome, that what I’d really rather do is take a Mommy vacation rather than plan for the holiday.  To just let someone else plan it for me and I show up.  I quickly find myself shifting from an abundantly thankful heart on Thanksgiving Day and then the next day can brace myself with worries of how to plan the upcoming weeks for the “perfect” Christmas.  Every year it is so cool to me to see my kids understanding something new about Christmas.  I have to remind myself that it is usually not because of my planning this happens, but because Christ is making moments happen for their lives and making Himself known to them on his supernatural timing.

My anticipation completely changed from being buried underneath plans, when I stumbled upon this freebie Advent Calendar idea at Handmaden.com from pinterest.  With a 7-year-old and a 19-month-old, I needed something fast to create.  I wanted my Advent Calendar NOT to be a mere countdown to Christmas where we get a piece of chocolate or toy and forget that day.  Because attitude has been the issue at large at our house, I wanted each day to lead up to Christ’s birth and to invite an enticing attitude toward learning.  Handmaden.com’s blog provided just that.  Isn’t it pretty?

I thought it would be more fun for my kids if I printed each day on Christmas contrasting red and green colors.  But wait!  You were wanting a Christmas devotional, you say?  I was floored to find out the simplicity of this advent that she has a single scripture passage for each day to be read right on each day of advent.  Simple is what we need over here.  My 7-year-old has LOVED going to the calendar to see what scripture will be for the day, then she looks it up in her Bible, and practices reading aloud.  Even my 19-month-old knows the routine and can’t wait to go to it each morning.  It begins our day with devotions.  It is a beautiful decoration in and of itself.

If you are an involved parent or a homeschooling parent like me; however, you might want to take it to the next level.  Many families also choose to do an activity for the day with their advent calendar.  It could be something as simple as baking cookies or watching a Christmas movie together.  On the back of each day, I wrote the theme word or activity for our daughter to find when she pulled it down.  THEN, we don’t do the activity until AFTER our studies are done as a reward for her good behavior.  This makes our studies sooooo much more enjoyable as we both eagerly await the most fun part of the day that also ties Christ’s theme for the day.

When I first read each verse on my calendar, I was suddenly filled with the wonder of the Christmas story.  How AWESOME IS GOD that the very birth of Christ was spoken into existence in Genesis!  How GREAT is our God who is faithful in our lives today – EVEN when we are hopeless.  Like Abraham and Sarah who were in their old age and couldn’t fathom having God do what He said – making their descendants as numerous as the stars.  And How GOOD HE HAS BEEN in my life alone!  If I were just to think on the ways He has provided for me without even considering my family members… wow!

As I read each scripture, then, I decided I wanted to pick out a “key” word out of each passage and do a craft or activity to convey God’s amazing ways.  I have been amazed so far at how she “gets” it.  I’m soooo excited that “my” anticipation of hearing Christ’s birth is now becoming “our” anticipation.  It is addicting too.  I cannot stop anticipating how God will move on our behalf and the plans He has for us to do in 2014.

Here is a list and links of our 25 days of crafts/activities.  For each I have listed a single word that spoke the theme of the verse and then found an activity that went along with this word.  Feel free to share and find your own theme word.  I hope you feel just as inspired.  What activites will you be doing this Advent season?

Day #1: Prepare.  We made paintings welcoming God to our hearts.  We also talked about how we prepare for guests by cleaning the house, so we need to open the door to Jesus so that HE can be the one to clean our hearts, if we will just prepare a place for Him.  Also, in Isaiah, they were preparing for the birth of a Savior.  Today, we are preparing for the same baby, our now resurrected Messiah, to return.

Day #2: Sing for Joy.   There are many Christmas songs that fit this.  Joy to the World.  You could even pick Ode to Joy.  Over Thanksgiving, a friend told me that Seeds of Praise was offering a free download.  And what was the title of the song that I now LOVE?  You got it!  The theme I had picked!  “Sing for Joy.”  I thought they were only offering through Thanksgiving day.  But it still seems available and the whole album is awesome and helps your little ones memorize scripture to beautiful song.

Day #3: Jesus’ Strong Hand.  I have nothing against Santa and think this is adorable.  Thought it would be fitting to somehow turn this clay creation into either Jesus’ hand or into Abraham.  Love it.

Day #4: We sinned.  I saw in this melted snowman how we feel after we mess up and wish we could go back to being our normal smiling selves.  You can find the original artist and other snowmen to choose from on my pinterest board.

 

Day #5:  Abraham and Sarah.  Trust God and believe Him.  This activity is to make some cardboard cutouts of stars and to wrap them in foil and hang to see. Pretty fun to illustrate how Abraham’s descendants are indeed as numerous as the stars and that Jesus was born under the star of Bethlehem.  I found this wonderful site describing it here.

At our house this year, we don’t have time to decorate with a Christmas tree, but I found this AMAZING “Jesse Tree” craft.  It could actually be an advent calendar or activity to do all alone.  But I will use it along with my own advent calendar.  The ornament listed in this free downloadable .pdf goes wonderfully with the lesson.  All of the historical figures mentioned in this craft all illustrate the root of Christ’s lineage and the people surrounding the birth of Christ.  It is so neat to see how the prophecy we are reading comes alive from the Old to New Testament readings through the week. Later we actually make the tree, but here is the info for printing the ornament here.

Day #6: Listening to God.  We will be playing the song, “Do you Hear What I Hear?” making the Isaiah ornament from Jesse tree and creating the following crafts.  Listening and following directions are my main goals for my 7-year-old.  She’s a good listener in public, but at home… we are working on it.  Since she has Chinese heritage, she loves learning her characters.  I love how the characters portray listening as from the heart!  All found on pinterest.

{Update:  It was so fun! }             

 

Day #7. Believing God’s promises activity.  As in Day #5, this activity is found at the bottom to remind us not to just hear God’s promises, but to believe Him.

Day #8. Root of jesse tree and ornament.

Day #9. HIS Name is The BRANCH.  We will be making a special Jesus branch on our Jesse tree.

Day #10.  Daughter and son of the King craft.  I found this on pinterest also.  You can buy it.  I thought we could make one of our own.

 

 

Day #11. Jesus is fire.  Fire of the Lord Hats.  Again, something you can buy but we will make our own… found on pinterest.

 

Day #12. Jesus was there with God when the earth was made.  I just found this amazing site on pinterest called “Calendar Connections.” We are learning about the months of the year.  Basically, this site can take any occasion or learning topic you can think of and print out corresponding images to illustrate on a calendar for your child.  I love the Christmas one they have provided to teach kids about Christmases around the world!

 

Day #13. Jesus is the Light and the Bible in the flesh.  Candlelight craft

 

Day #14. John the Baptist prepared for Jesus Mark 1:1-3.  In our Jesse Tree, the ornament for the day representing John the Baptist is a sea shell.  When I was a little girl, my grandma lived in Florida.  She was always bringing sea shells, horseshoe crabs, and sand dollars home for all of the grandchildren to hold.  My favorite item she would bring was the sand dollar because of its story about Jesus.  If you’ve never heard the story, please check it out here.  I can’t wait to see my kid’s faces when they find the tiny doves inside the sand dollars I found at orientaltrading.com!

 

Day #15. Luke 1:5-13 Zechariah and Elizabeth ornament on Jesse Tree.

Day #16. Luke 1:14-17 John was pure and not rebellious.  Grow a borax snowflake

Day # 17. More on Zechariah’s transformation when John the Baptist is born. Watch The Nativity Story.  If you haven’t seen this, you MUST watch it.  It is now a tradition in our house and is one of the most awe-inspiring, biblically sound versions I have ever seen.

Day #18. Names of Jesus.  Choose one advent ornament for the Names of Jesus.

Day #19. Mary gives glory to God for blessing her.  Sing songs such as “Gabriel’s Message” by Sting.  Or “10,000 reasons” by Matt Redman.

Write what God has done for you.

Day #20. Zecharias gave his son the name the angel had spoken, “John.”  He was not named after his father and this was unheard of.  What name does God call you by?

Day #21. Zechariah proclaims over his son after not believing.  Make another ornament from day #18, “The Highest”.

Day #22 Make ornament from Day #18, “Immanuel” ornament
Day #23 Mary hears from Gabriel.  We will be making cookies and gingerbread houses to spread Christmas cheer.

Day #24. More names of Jesus!

Day #25. The angel tells Joseph it is ok to take Mary as his wife.  We need to believe God.  He has come!  Hooray, Christmas is here!

Merry Christmas!  Please let me know what you loved the most and ideas of your own!